One Year Ago Today

As it is now after midnight, it has officially been one year since I last went out to lunch with my dad. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's one of the last memories I have of my dad before he had his stroke, which happened one year ago tomorrow. I was home from Eugene visiting because I was unemployed and had nothing better to do. Dad and I always went out to lunch together, all of us really. One year ago today my dad and I went to Hunan - my choice, he always picked Harvest Depot. We went to Hunan, I got the usual - Beef and Broccoli - and he got his usual - Sweet and Sour Pork, with the rice on the side to take home to mom. I remember he was really happy that day, more so that whole week I'd been home. It was the happiest I had seen him in so long, which made everything that happened next extra hard to swallow. That day at Hunan he was talking up the waitress we always had, which wasn't anything new, everyone always chatted my dad up, they always felt like they could talk to him - even when he didn't remember their names. Earlier that same day my dad talked about how he wanted to take up stained glass again. He had bought my mom flowers and these ridiculous flaming skull PJ pants, just because he knew she liked those kind of pants. He was the happiest I had seen him in I can't even remember how long. I imagine it's because all of his girls were in relatively good places. Emily was out of the bad roommate situation and living with me and Lucy was staying at Western, finally, she had found her place. For as long as I can recollect, for as long as I have existed, all my dad wanted was for the three of us to be happy and healthy. As long as we were happy, so was he.

Tomorrow marks the start of the year anniversary of a depressing period in my family's life's. It's going to be rough, especially for Lucy and my mom. Not that it won't be for Emily and I, we just handle our pain a little better, or at least not as vividly as others. I think about my dad every day and I just hope that I am making him proud. I always reflect on whether what I am doing, what I am thinking would upset him. That's something that hasn't changed. I have always wanted to be a good girl and not disappoint my parents, though I know I have had some trip ups along this path, but I try to follow it to the best of my abilities.

We're leaving to Denver in the afternoon. I wanted to take my mom to visit her family. I thought it best to go now, so we wouldn't have to be at home tomorrow, the day my dad had his stroke, in the same house. We need to be out of there, be with family, have a little fun and distraction. We all miss my family in Colorado. That's the family we grew up with, the family that no matter what is there for us. They are why I would want my mom to move back there, so she would have them. Who knows what will happen and where we'll all be this time next year. I know I'll be here still, at least still at The Source, hopefully in Bend by then. Hopefully Lucy gets into Colorado State and Emily gets in anywhere. Only time will tell I guess, we'll just have to wait and see.

My dad, Tom Pick, was a good man. He tried to set the best example he could at being a good person. He might not have succeeded all the time, but he tried nonetheless. It's because of my dad that I am who I am today, why I have the morals I have and why I want certain things out of life and love. He loved my mom and sisters and I more than anything else in this world. He is greatly missed. I love you, Dad.